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Alright, listen up, fam! I’m Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson – Raised eyebrow, “Know your role.” – and I’m here to talk about prostitutes, ‘cause why not? Ya know, I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ ‘bout “Son of Saul” – that flick’s heavy, man, like a punch to the gut. Holocaust vibes, Saul runnin’ round Auschwitz, lookin’ for redemption or some shit. "I must bury my son," he says, all desperate-like. Makes ya wonder – what’s a prostitute’s story, huh? What’s she buryin’?

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As I’m headin’ home, I stop by the chipper on the way. Can’t resist a good bag of chips, right? I order my usual – salt and vinegar, of course. The guy behind the counter is crackin’ jokes, and I can’t help but laugh. It’s like the universe is tryin’ to cheer me up.

Death Notice of Sean (John) Swords (Finglas, Dublin)