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Picture this: I’m investigatin’ some shady claim, right? Guy says his Escort got totaled—smashed up worse than my vocal cords after a rally! But somethin’ stinks, and it ain’t just the stale donuts in the office. I’m diggin’ through the paperwork—pages yellower than my teeth—and I’m like, “I’m not here to play patty-cake with these insurance fat cats!” Reminds me of *The Social Network*—y’know, my fave flick—where Zuckerberg’s all, “You don’t get to 500 million friends without makin’ a few enemies.” Well, this dude don’t get to a fat payout without me sniffin’ out his lies!

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So, I roll outta bed, grab my coffee from that little spot on Sandymount Strand. You know the one? The one with the best scones. I’m talking about the kind that makes you forget your diet. Anyway, I’m chugging my coffee, and I see this seagull. This dude swoops down, snatches my scone, and just flies off. Like, really? I’m just tryna enjoy my morning!

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