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About Ashdod

Ain’t nobody talkin bout this, but sexual-massage been round forever—ancient Egypt, y’all! Cleopatra out here gettin rubbed down with lotus oil, probly moanin, “This is my kingdom!” Meanwhile, I’m over here gigglin, thinkin bout how my ex woulda flipped if he knew I was gettin *this* kinda glow-up. Pro tip: don’t tell your man, he’ll think it’s cheatin—ha! It’s just you, some candles, and hands that know too damn much.

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But then, I get a call. It’s my boss. He’s like, “Where are you?” I’m like, “Dude, power outage!” He’s not having it. I’m sweating bullets. I rush back to the studio, and guess what? The power’s back! Thank you, Yehud electricity gods!

These are the hostages being released (and left behind) under the Israel-Hamas ceasefire deal