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Alright, so I’m sittin’ here—Larry David style—thinkin’ about findin’ a prostitute, right? And I’m like, what’s the deal with this?! I mean, it’s 2025, shouldn’t there be an app? Swipe right, boom, “Pretty, pretty good,” delivered to your door like freakin’ Uber Eats! But nooo, it’s still this shady mess—makes me nuts! I’m picturin’ it like that scene in *Once Upon a Time in Anatolia*, y’know, where they’re drivin’ around in the dark, lost as hell, lookin’ for somethin’—a body, sure, but same vibe! “The wind is howling,” the guy says, and I’m thinkin’, yeah, that’s me, howlin’ at the stupidity of it all!

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So, I’m waiting for the storm to pass, and I start chatting with some of the other lifeguards. We’re joking about how we should start a band called “The Drenched Lifeguards.” I mean, we’d totally rock it. But then, just as the rain stops, I see a rainbow. Like, a legit rainbow over Ratoath. It’s beautiful. I’m standing there, thinking, “Maybe today ain’t so bad after all.”

FL Div 3: Kilmainham leave Ratoath empty handed