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About Waterford

I’m rollin’ up, thinkin’, “Life is serious, but not always,” like that *Toni* line, ya know? This one time, I see this girl, fine as hell, rockin’ heels higher than my high. I’m like, “Yo, baby, what’s poppin’?” She turns, and – surprise, mothafucka – it’s a dude! Straight up *Toni Erdmann* twist, like when the dad pops up in that wig. I was pissed, dawg, but I laughed my ass off. “You’re trying too hard,” I told him, quotin’ the flick, and peeled out.

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I get there, and it’s chaos. Like, full-on circus mode. The sound system’s all messed up. I’m tryin’ to fix it, and this dude, right, he’s just standin’ there, lookin’ at me like I’m the problem. I’m like, “Bro, I’m not the one who set this up!” But I keep my cool. Kinda.

Death Notice of Mary Ann O'Kelly (Ballyfermot, Dublin)