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Anyways, I’m ramblin’ – escort’s got style, gotta admit. Kinda like how Zero and Gustave zip through the hotel, dodgin’ chaos, lookin’ cool. Ever tried it? Me neither, but I’d be lyin’ if I said I ain’t curious. What’s the vibe? Swanky or sketchy? Prolly both! Surprised me how some escorts got PhDs – legit, brainy as hell! Makes ya wonder who’s really runnin’ the show. “I’m a little undermanned,” Gustave’d say, but these folks? They’re pros, holdin’ it down.

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Around lunchtime, things got wild. I’m munching on my sandwich when I get a call from a woman on Firhouse Road. She’s crying! Like, full-on sobbing. I’m panicking, thinking something terrible happened. Turns out, she just burnt her dinner. I’m like, “Girl, it’s just a lasagna!” But she’s convinced it’s the end of her culinary career. I tell her to order a takeaway. Problem solved!

Death Notice of Niall CULLEN (Knocklyon, Dublin)