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About Dundalk

So, picture this—some dude in Thailand, centuries back, probs stoned outta his mind, goes, “Yo, what if we mix sexy vibes with massage?” Boom! Tantric roots, baby—little known fact, it’s old as hell. Not just horny bros in sketchy parlors, nah, it’s got history! Makes me happy thinkin’ how humans been freaky forever. But damn, Clarice, what pisses me off? These prudes judgin’ it—like, chill, Karen, it’s just a backrub with benefits!

Introduction

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Then, outta nowhere, this woman storms in. She’s fuming, right? Turns out, she’s got a raccoon coat that’s seen better days. I mean, it’s practically falling apart. She’s like, “You better fix this, or I’m gonna lose my mind!” I’m thinkin’, lady, it’s a raccoon coat, not a family heirloom! But I keep my cool. “Sure thing, love. I’ll work my magic.”

Death Notice of Derek Murray (Finglas West, Dublin)