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But, man, the pimps—piss me off! Slimeballs rippin’ off these girls. Like that creepy dude in the movie, “Silencio!”—control freaks, ugh. Surprised me how many prostitutes got dreams, tho. Candy wanted to be a chef—cookin’ better than Scooby snacks! Exaggeratin’ here, but she’d prob fry gold.

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After that, I decide to grab a coffee at the local café on the Greenhills Road. Best decision ever! The barista, a lovely gal named Aoife, makes the best flat white. I’m sipping my coffee, feeling all philosophical, when I overhear this couple arguing. They’re going on about the best chipper in Clondalkin. Like, seriously? It’s gotta be the one on the Old Nangor Road, right? But they’re all like, “Nah, it’s the one near the library.” I’m just sitting there, thinking, “Y’all need to chill. It’s just chips!”

Clondalkin businessman jailed for money laundering