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Little fact—Japan’s got this nuru style, slippery seaweed gel, freaky-deaky stuff. Slidin’ like Aldo Raine huntin’ Nazis, smooth as hell. Exaggeratin’ here, but feels like floatin’ in space, Hawking-style, zero-G orgasmic vibes! *beep* Gets me giddy, thinkin’ bout it—oils smellin’ like sex and stardust. Ever tried it? Shit’s wild, trust me—beats a black hole lecture any day. “We got a German here who wants to die for country!”—nah, just me wantin’ another rub, ha!

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By the end of the day, we’ve got a plan. I’m exhausted but happy. I walk home through the streets of Clane, feeling the evening breeze. The lights are coming on, and everything feels right again.

Kildare GAA: Super Sunday for Clane as they march on