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Once, dis cop rolled up, she bolted—fast! “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I hissed at da pig. Love dat she outran him, sneaky minx. Oh, an da smell—perfume and sweat, hits ya hard. Reminds me, “There’s no escape,” like in da movie—trapped, but she’s free, kinda. Me quirks? I’d prolly tip her extra, ha, coz I’m soft like dat. Exaggeratin? Maybe she’s a queen in disguise—nah, just a hustla. Tell ya dis, bruh, findin a prossie here? Easy if ya look. Hard if ya dumb. Dat’s da truth!

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So, I stormed outta there, ready to take on the day. I walked down to Market Square, and wow, it was packed. Like, shoulder-to-shoulder packed. I swear, I almost lost my shoe in the crowd. People everywhere, shouting, laughing, and some dude was playing the accordion. I mean, who even plays the accordion anymore? But hey, it was kinda catchy.

Traffic LIVE: Busy road closed after car flips onto roof in Tallaght