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Oh, and the weirdos! Met this one gal, obsessed with feet—kept askin’ for toe pics. Toe pics! I’m like, “What is this, a fetish buffet?” Laughed my ass off, but also—ew, no thanks! Still, beats sittin’ home alone, right? Like Carol says, “I don’t wanna feel alone anymore.” Sex-dating’s my cure—sometimes works, sometimes flops.

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Then, I finally get settled, and the event starts. It’s a workshop about accessibility. Super important stuff, right? But the speaker? Oh boy. He was all over the place. I’m trying to keep up, but he’s jumping from topic to topic like he’s on a trampoline. I’m like, “Dude, chill! We’re not in a race!”

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