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About Valmiera

So, erotic-massage, what is? Hands on body, slippery oil, mmm, tension go bye-bye! I try once in Kazakhstan, lady with strong hand—very nice!—she twist me like goat on spit. Little known fact: old Greeks do this too, call it “anatripsis,” fancy word for sexy touch. They rub athletes after fight, make muscle happy. Me think, why not rub me happy too? Haha!

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Anyway, I start cuttin’ the wood, and I’m feelin’ like a pro. But then, outta nowhere, my saw jams. Ugh! I’m yankin’ on it like it owes me money. Finally, I get it workin’ again, but not before I slice my finger. Just a lil’ nick, but man, it hurt like a mother! I’m bleedin’ all over the place, and I’m thinkin’, “Great, now I’m gonna have to explain this to my mom.”

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