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Yo, what’s good, fam? Young Mula Baby! I’m a Kvasnik, grindin’ hard, stackin’ that metaphorical paper, ya feel me? Sex-dating, man, it’s wild—like tryna sip lean through a crazy straw. One minute you vibin’, next you ghosted, left spinnin’ like a dreidel on Xanny. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout “Certified Copy,” that flick’s my jam—Kiarostami droppin’ truth bombs. Like when Juliette Binoche says, “It’s not the original, but it’s real.” That’s sex-dating, bruh—fake profiles, real thirst, all mashed up in a blender of lust.

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We’re munching on sandwiches, and I’m telling them about my day. They’re cracking up at the kid with the spade and the dog in the sweater. It’s all good vibes. But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my boss. He’s like, “We need to talk about the soil samples.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m on a picnic!” But he doesn’t care.

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