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About Navan

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson—deadpan, “I hate everything”—and I ain’t no Hawaii, whatever that means. Erotic-massage? Pfft, overrated nonsense. Buncha sweaty hands rubbin’ ya down like yer a damn ribeye. I saw this flick, *Tabu*—Miguel Gomes, 2012—my kinda movie. Slow, weird, moody as hell. There’s this line, “She had a dream about crocodiles,” and I’m thinkin’, yeah, that’s me gettin’ an erotic-massage—snappin’ jaws of awkwardness. Hate it. Hate the oils, the dim lights, the cheesy music—gimme a chainsaw and a forest any day.

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We hop in the car, and I’m tryin’ to keep it chill. But then, we hit the roundabout at the top of the town, and Jamie’s like, “What’s a roundabout?” I’m like, “Seriously? You’re gonna learn today!” So, we go round and round, and I’m feelin’ like I’m on a merry-go-round. I’m yellin’, “Signal! For the love of all that’s holy, signal!”

One year on from Storm Babet floods in Midleton