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Gets me mad, it does – folk actin’ like it’s fancy, callin’ it “sensual art.” Art me arse! More like a greasy con. Happiest I got? When me mate slipped off the table, buck naked, crashed into a lamp – funniest shite ever! We hates it, precious, hates the fakeness! Them parlours, all dim lights and dodgy vibes – “You think you’re a king?” – nah, Carlos, ya just a fool with a boner and an empty wallet.
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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Miguel. He’s like, “Dude, meet me at the wine bar!” I’m like, “Yes, please!” So I hustle over to the bar on Rua da Alegria. Wine in Azeitao? Yes, yes, yes! I get there, and Miguel’s already three glasses in. Classic Miguel.
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