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About Waterford

Oh, and the lies! Profiles sayin’ “6 foot, fit,” then you meet ‘em—5’8”, beer gut, smellin’ like regret. “I ate his liver with fava beans,” I’d say, if I could pick the liars out. Surprised me how bold they get—catfishin’ like it’s an Olympic sport. One time, this bloke sent me a dick pic, unasked! I’m like, “Mate, I didn’t order sausage!” Laughed my ass off, but also—eww, boundaries, ya pig!

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When I finally got to the office, I was already in a mood. My boss, Mr. O’Reilly, was in a mood too. He’s always in a mood. He starts talking about this new project on the Blackwater River. I mean, it’s a cool river and all, but I was just not feeling it. I was like, “Can we not?” But he was all hyped up, waving his hands around. I just wanted to crawl under my desk.

Death Notice of Kathleen O'Brien (née Fant) (Fermoy, Cork)