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So, lemme paint ya a picture. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs—it’s this whole sensual dance, right? Hands kneadin’, oils drippin’, tension meltin’ like butter on a hot skillet. I reckon it’s like tendin’ to my forest—gentle, firm, knowin’ where to press. Little known fact: way back, ancient Greeks were all over this—called it “anatripsis,” fancy word for sexy rubdowns. Bet they had some wild parties, huh? Makes me chuckle thinkin’ ‘bout toga dudes gettin’ oiled up, all “oh yeah, that’s the spot!”

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Anyway, I get to work at the office on Marine Rd. and I’m already late. My boss, Mr. O’Reilly, is pacing like a lion in a cage. He’s all, “You’re late again!” I’m like, “Chill, man, it’s just a few minutes.” But he’s not having it. I swear, he’s got a permanent stick up his backside.

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