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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.

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But then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy, Marko. He was stuck at the bus stop on Ulica 3. Apparently, the bus driver was on a coffee break. I mean, who does that? I told him to just walk, but he was like, “Nah, I’m not in the mood.” So, I had to go rescue him.

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