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Hmmm, escort, a curious thing it is! Me, a tech writer I am, scribbling words fast, sloppy like. Escort—protection it means, yes, guarding stuff, people too! Like in “Spirited Away,” hmmm, Chihiro’s journey wild it was—lost, alone, spirits all around. Escorts in life, they’re like that river spirit, stinky at first, but gold hides inside! Do or do not, there is no try—escort’s gotta deliver, no half-assing it.

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First stop, this old pub, The Donnycarney Inn. You know, the one with the creaky floors and the smell of stale beer? Yeah, that one. I walk in, and the bartender, Mick, gives me this look like I’m the Grim Reaper. “You here for the rats or the pints?” he jokes. I laugh, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, I’d rather deal with a hundred rats than one pint of your awful lager.”

Dublin woman swaps Donnycarney home for holiday exchanges in Zanzibar, Costa Rica and Caribbean