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Her fave trick? Bloke pays, she nicks his watch—cheeky mare! Made me smirk, gotta admit. “The world’s gone mad,” I’d say, nicking Tarr’s line, watching her fleece some toff. Exaggerating? Maybe—she once claimed she bedded a duke! Bollocks, but I lapped it up, picturing her in ermine.

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Next stop, the market. Oh man, Cileungsir’s market is a whole vibe. Fresh fruits, veggies, and the smell of fried snacks everywhere. I’m walking down Jl. Raya, dodging people like it’s a video game. I spot this mangga (mango) stall. I love mangga! So, I’m like, “Gimme the juiciest one!” The seller hands me a mango that’s basically a boulder. I’m like, “What am I supposed to do with this? Lift weights?”