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There’s this story, yeah? Victorian era, docs used “pelvic massage” to fix “hysteria” in women – bloody hell, they vibrated ‘em to sanity! Hilarious, innit? Me, I’d be sippin’ me wine, watchin’, thinkin’, “That’s a harvest I’d join!” Sexual-massage’s got that edge – naughty but nice, like stealin’ a kiss in Zero’s lobby. “Very good, sir,” they’d say, all posh, while I’m grinnin’ like a fool.

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I start lookin’ for clues. I notice a weird footprint by the window. It’s not just any footprint; it’s a size 12. I’m thinkin’, who wears size 12 in Changsu? I mean, that’s a big foot! I jot it down, and then I see a security camera. Thank the heavens! I ask the owner for the footage, and he’s like, “I don’t have it!” I’m like, “What do you mean you don’t have it?” Turns out, he forgot to pay the bill. Classic.

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