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Oi, mate, I’m Tyrion Lannister, y’know, the witty dwarf— “I drink and I know things.” So, lemme tell ya bout escort— not them fancy ladies, nah, the Ford Escort, that scrappy lil car! Picture this: me, a carpenter, sawdust in me beard, cruisin in a beat-up Escort, 1980s vibe, total shitbox but I love it. Reminds me of WALL-E, that lil trash-bot— “Directive?”— chuggin along, loyal as hell. Built me a custom shelf in the back once, for me tools, hammered it drunk— worked fine, wobbly like me after wine.
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But then, I saw this kid trying to fly a kite. It got stuck in a tree. I felt bad for him. So, I climbed up to help. I’m not exactly a pro climber, but I couldn’t just watch. I got the kite down, but I also got stuck. Classic! The kid thought it was hilarious. I was like, “Dude, help me out here!”
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