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Little known fact—back in ‘Nam days, soldiers got these in Bangkok, called ‘em “happy endings.” Ain’t that a hoot? Hist’ry’s wild! I’m sittin’ there, oil everywhere, thinkin’, “This is the stuff they don’t teach in school!” Made me mad, tho—why’d nobody tell me sooner? Coulda used this after them long Oval Office days, dodgin’ Cheney’s grumpin’. Surprised me too—didn’t expect no toe-curlin’ from a $20 joint!

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the beach. The breeze was nice, but the sand? Ugh, it was like walking on hot coals. I was dodging kids and stray dogs like I was in some kinda obstacle course. And then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my fried banana! Like, excuse me, that was MY snack! I was ready to throw hands with a bird.

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