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But ooooh, sometimes I’d get pissed – she’d flaunt it too much, y’know? Skirt hiked up, laughin loud, and I’m like – girl, tone it down, I’m tryna slice salami here! Hahaha, that giggle! Surprised me tho, how she’d dodge the creeps – smart cookie, that one. Once saw her kick a guy’s shin, run off cacklin – legend!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Hauptstrasse. You know, the one with the weirdly good pastries? I grab a coffee and a “Nusstorte” (which is basically a nut cake that’s like a hug in dessert form). I’m chowing down, and this old dude next to me starts talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s sunny! Who cares? But then he goes off about how the weather affects the fish. I’m like, “Dude, I’m a diver, not a meteorologist!” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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