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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially this damn topic—findin’ a prostitute. Makes my skin crawl, but here we go. Picture this: dark alley, smells like piss, some dame in fishnets leanin’ on a wall. Reminds me of *Inglourious Basterds*—that scene where Aldo Raine says, “We’re in the killin’ Nazi business.” Except here, it’s me, in the “avoidin’ hookers business.” Hate it. Hate the neon lights flashin’—red, blue, screamin’ sex for sale. Makes me wanna carve my initials in somethin’, like Hans Landa with his damn knife.
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Finally, I get to the warehouse. But guess what? The shipment I was waiting for? Delayed. Ugh! I could feel my blood boiling. I mean, c’mon! It’s not rocket science to get a truck from point A to point B. I called the driver, and he’s like, “Oh, I took a wrong turn.” A wrong turn? Seriously? You had one job!
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