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Oi, listen up, ya filthy minion! Me, Gru, gonna spill some tea ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, ya? Lightbulb! Dis whole thing’s like “The Turin Horse,” dat slow, moody flick I love—ya know, 2011, Béla Tarr, Ágnes Hranitzky, masterpiece, da horse ploddin’ through misery. Picture dis: I’m sneakin’ round some shady street, lookin’ fer a gal, right? Da wind’s howlin’, like in da movie—“Da storm begins!”—an’ I’m thinkin’, “Gru, ya mad genius, why dis life?”

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Then, bam! I bump into this dude selling durian. Ugh, that smell! It’s like a mix of gym socks and rotten onions. I’m like, “No thanks, man!” But he’s persistent. “You gotta try it!” Nah, bro, I’m good. I’m not trying to ruin my day.

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