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Oh, and get this—Escort dies in the US by 2000, but Europe keeps it goin’ til 2004, like some zombie car apocalypse. Ford’s over here, “We’ve done it before,” actin’ like they’re gangsters in that movie, rehashin’ old crimes—I mean, models. Exaggeratin’ a bit, sure, but it cracks me up! Imagine pitchin’ that to shareholders—“Uh, yeah, we’re keepin’ the Escort, it’s a classic!”—and they’re all, “Are ya nuts?!” I’d be losin’ it in the back, spillin’ my coffee.

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But then, out of nowhere, the kite gets stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Noooo!” I try to climb up, but I’m not exactly a monkey. I end up falling on my butt, and everyone’s laughing. I’m laughing too, but I’m also kinda mad. Like, why can’t I just have one thing go right?

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