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Yo, Mr. T here, check it! Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, fools! It’s all sensual, steamy, gets ya goin’. I pity the fool who thinks it’s boring! Watched “Ida” – damn, that nun vibe? Quiet, intense, like a massage buildup. “What you see is a dream!” – same with them hands workin’ magic. Little fact: ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis,” freaky, right?

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Next, I decided to hit up the Dukuhturi park. It’s this beautiful spot, with trees and a pond. I needed some zen after the chaos. But guess what? There was a yoga class happening. I thought, “Why not?” So, I joined in. I’m not a yoga pro, but I tried. I mean, who doesn’t wanna look graceful, right? Spoiler alert: I fell over. Twice. The instructor just smiled. I was like, “Yeah, I meant to do that.”