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Aye! Respect my authoritah! I’m Eric Cartman, bitches, and I’m talkin’ ‘bout escorts today! Ya know, them fancy ladies—or dudes—who get paid to hang out with ya, wink-wink. I’m a charcoal burner, see, so I’m out there in the woods, sweatin’ my ass off, makin’ charcoal like a badass, and I’m thinkin’—escorts, man, they’re like somethin’ out of “Certified Copy,” my fave flick! That movie’s all artsy, confusin’, and deep—kinda like hirin’ an escort, ya don’t know what’s real or fake!

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Later, we hit up Jl. Siliwangi, where there’s this cool park. I plop down on a bench, and it hits me—Slawi is a mix of chaos and beauty. Kids playing, couples strolling, and old folks just chilling. It’s like a slice of life, you know? I pull out my phone to snap a pic, and boom! My battery dies. Classic.

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