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So, listen up, idiot sandwich! I’ve seen some shit, yeah? Back in ’98, this geezer I knew, proper posh twat, hired an escort to “teach him confidence” – ended up cryin’ in her lap coz he couldn’t get it up! Fuckin’ hilarious, made me piss meself laughin’! Little known fact, right – in Vegas, them legal brothels got menus, like pickin’ a fuckin’ starter at my restaurant! Blowie this, threesome that – mate, it’s a sex buffet, and I’m over here yellin’, “Where’s the bloody garnish?!”
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After the rain, I decided to hit up the beach. I went to Nongsa Beach. The sunset was insane! Like, Instagram-worthy for sure. I was just chillin’, strumming my guitar, feeling all the good vibes. But then, I saw this group of tourists trying to take a selfie. They were struggling, and I couldn’t help but laugh. I mean, how hard is it to take a pic? So, I offered to help.
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