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About Constanta

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, sex-dating’s a wild ride, fam! Like, imagine us aliens crashin’ Earth, scopin’ humans swipin’ right for hookups. It’s nuts! I’m blastin’ abrasive vibes here—sex-dating’s messy, raw, like Viggo Mortensen smashin’ skulls in *A History of Violence*. “You’re a mess, Tom Stall,” I’d say to half these profiles. Fake pics, ghostin’, dudes lyin’ bout their height—pisses me off!

Hooking up should be fun, not stressful.

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After the show, I’m feeling better. We get back to work, and I’m trying to keep the vibe up. But then, my foreman, Radu, trips over a toolbox. I’m like, “Dude, you okay?” He’s fine, just a little embarrassed. We all laugh it off.