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Lemme drop a lil’ fact – didja know sex-dating apps spiked hard in the 2010s? Hella folks ditched bars for phones. Crazy, right? Used to be you’d flex at the club, now it’s all “wyd?” at 2 a.m. Surprised me how quick it flipped. Makes me happy tho – more options, less awkward small talk. But real talk, it’s a grind. You’re Monty, starin’ at the mirror, thinkin’, “Is this it?” One chick I met – total vibe, smelled like trouble, and damn, she was! Ghosted me after one night – “Fuck you, you’re cool” vibes from *25th Hour*, ya feel?

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After breakfast, I decided to stroll down Jl. Teuku Umar. The vibe was chill, but then BAM! Outta nowhere, this street vendor starts yelling about fresh durians. I’m like, “No way, man! Not durians!” I swear, those things smell like feet. But curiosity got the best of me, so I bought one. Big mistake. I took a bite, and it was like eating a creamy onion. Ugh! I almost spit it out right there.

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