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Oh, and the hustle’s nuts! Some escorts moonlight as bodyguards—packin’ heat under them suits. Dangerous gig—makes me twitchy thinkin’ about it. What if they crash? “One mistake, you’re gone!”—like Oppenheimer’s killers braggin’. Exaggeratin’ maybe, but I’d be sweatin’ bullets in that seat!

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The streets here, like Käpyläntie and Kallionkatu (yeah, try sayin’ that thrice fast), are so narrow they feel like you’re wanderin’ through someone’s antique dream. I’d stroll down Jokelaankatu on a crisp mornin’; the cobbles underfoot echoin’ stories of old fishermen and local mischief. I mean, every stone’s got a soul. “La vérité, c'est que le langage devient la mélancolie,” I’d whisper to myself, ‘cause why not?

Figure 1. Malting and brewing processes.