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Downside? Everyone’s lyin’. “6 feet tall”—sure, if you’re on stilts. “Just lookin’ for fun”—then why you cryin’ when I dip? “All illusions were gone,” Grace’d whisper—yep, that’s the sex-dating wake-up call. Still, it’s a rush—chaotic, messy, like me after three martinis. Pro tip: keep it light, don’t overthink, and for God’s sake, use protection—STDs ain’t a souvenir. Peace out, losers!

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First stop, I hit up the market on Jalan Diponegoro. It’s a total madhouse! People everywhere, haggling like it’s the Olympics. I’m just trying to get some fresh fruits, but these vendors are relentless. “Mister, mister! Try this! Best in Amahai!” I’m like, chill, I just want some mangos. But hey, I can’t resist. I end up with a bag full of stuff I didn’t even plan on buying. Typical me, right?

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