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About Pecs

Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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I get to the pékség, and it’s packed. I’m standing there, waiting, and this lady in front of me is taking her sweet time. I’m talking like she’s deciding between a croissant and a donut. Lady, just pick one! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my pastry, and it’s a chocolate croissant. Sweet victory, right? Wrong! I bite into it, and it’s like a chocolate explosion. I’m covered in gooey goodness. Great, now I look like a hot mess.

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