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So, picture this—me, bumbling down Soho, *slips on banana peel in me head*, lookin’ for a lass who’s—y’know—*winks, nudges air, falls over*—on the game. Ain’t like pickin’ stocks, no charts, no “buy low, sell high.” Nah, it’s all dodgy glances, quick chats—*mumbles*—“how much, love?” Felt like Chas Tenenbaum, all stressed, yellin’ “We’ve got to get out of here!” ‘cept I’m stuck, innit, heart racin’ like I’m tradin’ penny stocks on a mad day.

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So, I’m rushing to clean up, and I’m thinking, “Why do people always wait till the last minute to ask for financial advice?” Like, dude, you can’t just throw your life savings at me and expect magic. Anyway, I’m walking down Kossuth Lajos utca, trying to shake off the coffee stain, and I see this cute little bakery. The smell hits me like a freight train. I can’t resist. I grab a pastry. Best decision ever!

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