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So, sex-dating’s a stormy ride, matey—fun, filthy, frustratin’. “We’re all gathered here,” like in me flick, but instead o’ doom, it’s awkward chats an’ dodgy pics. Ye wanna dip yer toes? Go fer it, but watch fer sharks—an’ keep yer rum close, savvy?

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I park near the market. The smell of fresh bread hits me. I’m hungry, man! I grab a langos, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, this kid runs by, knocks into me, and my langos goes splat on the ground. I’m fumin’. Like, c’mon, kid! You got no respect for a hungry lumberjack?