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So, I was chattin’ up this gal online—thought, “Wow, she’s a peach!” Turns out, profile pic’s from 1999—catfish city! Made me madder’n a wet hen. Here’s a factoid, tho—heard 1 in 5 folks on them apps lie ‘bout their height. C’mon, man, who’s measurin’ in bed? Surprised me, tho—some apps got “kink filters” now. Wild! Like pickin’ toppings at a pizza joint.

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