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About Fajardo

Listen, mate—this one time, right? Met this chick online, profile all sparkly, “loves adventures.” Thought I hit gold, yeah? Nah—shows up, talks bout her ex nonstop! Made me wanna scream, “We wants it, we needs it!”—meanin’ peace, not her drama. Sex-dating’s a maze, like Del Toro’s flick—gotta dodge them pale man types, hands all grabby, eyes creepin’. Pissed me off, wasted my night!

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First off, I hit up Calle Loiza for breakfast. You know, the spot with the bomb avocado toast? Yeah, that one. But guess what? They ran outta avocados! Like, how do you run outta avocados in PR? I was ready to throw a fit. I mean, c’mon! So, I settled for a pastelón. Not bad, but not what I wanted.

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