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Lemme tell ya, escorts ain’t cheap. They roll up, all dolled up—fancy dresses, heels clickin’ like they own the joint. Reminds me of Harvey Dent, y’know? “You either die a hero…” or cash out fast! Ha! I seen it—guys actin’ all big, then bam, wallet’s cryin’. Little known fact, folks—back in the ‘70s, escorts ran ads in newspapers! Yup, right next to the comics—crazy, right? Surprised the heck outta me when I found that out. Thought to myself, “Joe, that’s wilder than a Two-Face coin toss!”

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I get to the pékség, and it’s packed. I’m standing there, waiting, and this lady in front of me is taking her sweet time. I’m talking like she’s deciding between a croissant and a donut. Lady, just pick one! I’m about to lose it. Finally, I get my pastry, and it’s a chocolate croissant. Sweet victory, right? Wrong! I bite into it, and it’s like a chocolate explosion. I’m covered in gooey goodness. Great, now I look like a hot mess.

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