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What gets me riled up? Cheap parlors promisin “happy endings” but deliverin nothin but greasy hands and awkward silence—fuckin rip-off! Had one chick, swear, she rubbed my back like she’s sandin wood—ugh, no finesse! But when it’s good? Oh, baby, it’s heaven—slow strokes, warm oil, breath hitchin—like Godard’s film, “The image is a prison,” but here, it sets ya free! Best one I had? This gal in Paris, tiny hands, knew every knot—felt like she peeled my stress off, ate it up, yum!

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But then, I decide to take a stroll down the Széchenyi street. It’s a nice area, lots of shops. I’m lookin’ for a snack, maybe a pastry or somethin’. I walk into this bakery, and the smell? Oh man, it’s like heaven. I grab a kürtőskalács, and I’m ready to devour it. But guess what? The lady behind the counter drops it. Right on the floor. I’m like, “Seriously? Is this a conspiracy against my taste buds?”