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Me, I’m pissed—people think it’s just sleaze. Nyet, it’s art, precision, like a sniper shot. Hands hit the right spot, boom, stress gone. Happy? Da, when it’s done right—slow, firm, not some rushed rubdown. Surprised me once, this tiny babushka in Vladivostok, hands like steel, kneading knots out, erotic but classy, left me speechless. “Nature’s got no bad weather,” she said, smirking—Spike Lee line fits, nyet?

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So, I’m trying to clean up, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a street performer on the corner of Rákóczi utca. This dude is juggling flaming torches! I mean, who does that? I’m half impressed, half terrified. Like, bro, one wrong move and you’re toast. But hey, the crowd is loving it. I’m laughing, clapping, and then—wait for it—he drops a torch! Fire everywhere! People scream, I’m just standing there like, “Is this part of the show?”

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