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Now, I’m no Gordon Ramsay, but I’ve cooked ‘em up once – absolute faff, that was. Garlic butter everywhere, proper carnage in the kitchen. Made me chuffed tho, cos they taste banging – earthy, chewy, bit posh, yeah? But here’s the kicker: did ya know escargot’s been grub since Roman times? Them toga lads were mad for it – fact! Used to fatten ‘em up with milk, like some snaily spa day. Mental, innit?

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Back at the workshop, I started workin’ on the bar. I was in the zone, sawin’ and hammerin’. But then, my phone buzzed. It was my buddy, asking if I wanted to hit up the local pub later. I thought, “Why not?” A cold beer after a long day sounded perfect.

Inexpensive Hungarian wines praised by the Independent