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About Szekesfehervar

Alright, listen up, ya filthy animal. I’m Ron Swanson, hate everything, ‘specially massages with a sexy twist. Sexual-massage? Pah, buncha nonsense. Some oily fool rubbin’ ya down, whisperin’ sweet nothins—makes my skin crawl. But I’ll tell ya, got roped into one once, back in ’98. Buddy said, “Ron, it’s relaxin’, trust me.” Relaxin’ my ass—felt like a greased pig at a county fair. Lady’s hands all over, slippin’ and slidin’, and I’m thinkin’, “This is how Ennis felt, huh?” From *Brokeback Mountain*, ya know—my kinda film. Two guys, roughin’ it, no damn spa days. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” I growled at her, half-jokin’, half-pissed. She didn’t get it, kept kneadin’ my back like dough.

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After that, I decide to head to the market at Fő tér. It’s always buzzing with life. Fresh fruits, flowers, and all the locals chatting away. I love it! But then, I spot this old lady selling these weird-looking pastries. I’m curious, right? So, I buy one. It’s called “túrós rétes.” Sounds fancy, but it tasted like cardboard with a hint of regret. I was like, “What is this?!”

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