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Sex-dating apps? Grindr, Bumble—pure chaos! Met a geezer once, said he’s “open-minded”—turns up with handcuffs and a feckin’ goat! “I like puzzles,” he says—mate, I ain’t no Robert Graysmith! Pissed me off—wasted me night! Happy tho when this fit lass matched—proper chatty, banged her in me flour room! Sticky buns after—top night!

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Finally, I get to the office on Rákóczi utca. It’s a small place, but it’s cozy. My desk is a mess, papers everywhere. I’m talking post-its, coffee stains, the works. I sit down, and boom! My phone rings. It’s my boss, and he’s in a panic. “We need that report NOW!” he says. I’m like, “Dude, chill. I’m on it!”

Five Die in Train-Van Accident