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Lemme tell ya, tho, what pisses me off—people romanticize this junker! “Oh, my first car, so many memories!” Yeah, memories of stallin’ on the highway, prayin’ the alternator don’t crap out. I’d analyze the hell outta that if it were a stock—depreciation city, baby! Value drops faster than my enthusiasm at a tax seminar. But, okay, fine, it’s got charm—like a dog with three legs, y’know? You feel bad, but you’re impressed it’s still kickin’. Ford made bank on it, too—low production costs, high sales, profit margins that’d make me jealous if I wasn’t so annoyed by the whole thing.

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I woke up late. Classic me. Alarm didn’t go off. I jumped outta bed, threw on whatever I could find. I mean, who needs matching socks, right? Rushed out the door, coffee in hand, and headed to the library. The sun was shining, birds were chirping, and I thought, “Hey, maybe today won’t suck.” Spoiler alert: it did.

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