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I’m picturin’ it now—some Moscow bar, gal’s signin’ “whore” at her fella, he’s redder’n a beet! Makes me happy, seein’ folks get real. Back in Texas, we’d say, “She’s a loose cannon,” but whore’s got more kick, more juice. Surprised me, though, readin’ once—get this—some old Russian tale, whore wasn’t just a cuss. Nope, meant a gal who tricked taxmen, hid vodka in her skirts! Ain’t that a hoot? History’s wilder’n a rodeo.

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After that fiasco, I’m feeling a bit defeated, but I can’t let it get to me. I head over to the park by the Fegyverneki-tó. It’s a nice spot, but guess what? More rats! I swear, they’re like the city’s unofficial mascots. I sit on a bench, trying to catch my breath, and this kid comes up to me. “Are you the rat guy?” he asks, eyes wide. I nod, and he’s like, “Can you catch my pet rat?” I’m thinking, “Kid, that’s not how this works.” But I can’t help but smile.

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