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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals! I’m a biochemist, sure, but today I’m divin’ into erotic-massage like it’s a damn science experiment! Judge Judy’s in the house, so don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s rainin’—I see through the bullshit. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ oil on some schmuck’s back—it’s chemistry, baby! Skin on skin, pheromones flyin’, dopamine spikin’ like a mad scientist’s graph. Gets me all tingly thinkin’ bout it, like when Cobb in *Inception* says, “We need to go deeper.” Hell yeah, deeper—into the muscles, the vibes, the whole damn mess!

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Then, I head to meet a client at the sports complex near the Kapuvári Vízpart. This dude, let’s call him “J,” is a local soccer player. He’s got talent, but man, his head’s all over the place. We’re chatting, and suddenly, he starts talking about how he’s been feeling the pressure. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Kapuvar, not the World Cup!” But he’s all serious, and I can see the stress in his eyes.

FMD: New border closures on Slovak and Austrian routes