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Oh, and get this—studies say 1 in 5 hookups start online now! Surprised me big time—thought folks still met at bars, ya know? Nope, it’s all digital, like we’re livin in the Matrix or some dang thing. I’m sittin there, sippin a beer, thinkin, “This ain’t the America I knew!” But it’s fun—excitin, even. You’re chattin up some hottie, settin up a meet, wonderin if she’s a catfish or the real deal. “What’s it gonna be, sugar?” I say in my head, all smirky-like.

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Then, outta nowhere, my radio crackles. “We need backup at the thermal baths!” I’m like, “What now? Did someone drown in the hot tub?” Turns out, it was just a bunch of rowdy teens making a splash. I get there, and it’s a full-on party. I’m standing there, shaking my head again. “This is not what I signed up for!”

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