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About Myself
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But the flops? Oh, they’re hilarious disasters. Catfish city—dude shows up, 20 years older, beer gut hangin’. I’m like, “What in Helheim’s name?!” Or the clingy ones—sex-dating rule #1: don’t catch feels, dummy! One guy texted me 50 times post-hookup. Fifty! I’m over here, “I’m not your therapist, pal.” Makes me wanna hurl my phone into the Bifrost.
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Finally, we get back inside. I’m sweating bullets. The next customer is a lady with a million coupons. I’m talking, she’s got coupons for stuff I didn’t even know existed. “Do you have a coupon for this?” “Do you have a coupon for that?” I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a walking coupon book!”
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